A.R.M.O.R #1 review

[mitchcrane]

The first thing I realised when reading this, was that if ARMOR was an Australian organisation, there would need to be an extra word in the acronym, be cause we spell it armour lol.

Being the writer for Exiles (I know #6 is long overdue) I thought I better jump on an read the other alternate reality title here on MA.

I'll start with the faults first, and get them out of the way. You didn't really explain anything about what A.R.M.O.R was. Maybe because you assumed most people would be aware of it, or you wanted to build the mystery and have it explained next issue. As the introductory issue though, its really important to give us all the important info straight up. I don't think there was even an explanation for what A.R.M.O.R stood for.

Ok, now onto the good. Its cool to see you using Gaia, a character long forgotten by Marvel. Considering her extra dimensional ties she makes a good fit. I'm also glad to see you kept Portal, which makes it feel a bit like the ARMOR in the comics. The romance between them seems sweet, and I'm hoping we get to look into it more. Captain Britain is also a surprise, but makes sense, considering his ties to the multiverse, though I'm curious to find out how things will work with him being part of the Captain Britain Corps and this MDU.

Just remember to outline what ARMOR's all about next issue and you'll be fine.

[brentlambert]

Apr 22, 2010 18:31:34 GMT -5 mitchcrane said:

The first thing I realised when reading this, was that if ARMOR was an Australian organisation, there would need to be an extra word in the acronym, be cause we spell it armour lol.

Being the writer for Exiles (I know #6 is long overdue) I thought I better jump on an read the other alternate reality title here on MA.

I'll start with the faults first, and get them out of the way. You didn't really explain anything about what A.R.M.O.R was. Maybe because you assumed most people would be aware of it, or you wanted to build the mystery and have it explained next issue. As the introductory issue though, its really important to give us all the important info straight up. I don't think there was even an explanation for what A.R.M.O.R stood for.

Ok, now onto the good. Its cool to see you using Gaia, a character long forgotten by Marvel. Considering her extra dimensional ties she makes a good fit. I'm also glad to see you kept Portal, which makes it feel a bit like the ARMOR in the comics. The romance between them seems sweet, and I'm hoping we get to look into it more. Captain Britain is also a surprise, but makes sense, considering his ties to the multiverse, though I'm curious to find out how things will work with him being part of the Captain Britain Corps and this MDU.

Just remember to outline what ARMOR's all about next issue and you'll be fine.

Sorry it took me a minute to reply to this. I've been busy and what not, but thanks for the review first off. I'm actually glad that you took the time to read A.R.M.O.R. as there are some things I personally want to keep you in the loop about. So expect an email of some sort when I can make some time to draft one up.

You know what? You're right. I didn't really come out and out and explain what A.R.M.O.R. was. I sort of depended on the reader having some prior knowledge of it. I'm also of the school of thought where I don't like to spell out everything for the reader in plain terms. I want to let the reader pull the pieces together. Like "ok there's alternate realities" and "ok there is some sort of beaucracy here" and let the reader come to the conclusion of what A.R.M.O.R. is through the context of the story. I was trying to follow on a lesson that Derrick Ferguson gave me one time. If you want people to know what your characters are all about start the story off with them doing "what they do" so to speak. So that's what I was trying to do here. But with all that said, I can definately see your point and I should have went for more of a middle ground with this first issue.

I can't promise you'll get a direct explanation of the sort I think you're looking for anytime soon as I am already in the process of scripting issue seven, but I will try to work something in there at some point.

I'm lucky with this A.R.M.O.R. cast in that I was able to get all of my first choices for characters I wanted to use. Though it's not like anyone is scrambling to use Gaia or Motormouth so I guess its a good thing I have a love for the obscure folks. I did want to keep Portal around to offer some familiarity, but him being the Director never set quite right with me. He's always been portrayed in the past as a bit too selfish and immature to run something like A.R.M.O.R.

As for Cap B's connection to the Corps...that will actually be addressed in due time. I don't have a solid plan there, but since you mentioned it I will take the time to deal with it. How's that for service?

Anyway thanks again for the review.